You give us Bivens federally, we’ll stop throwing sandwiches.

  • shalafi@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    CBP Agent Gregory Lairmore, the government’s first witness, said the sandwich “exploded” when it struck his chest hard enough that he could feel it through his ballistic vest.

    “You could smell the onions and the mustard,” he recalled.

    First off, yes this was assault. Hilarious assault, but assault. But I’d be too humiliated to testify as the “victim” is quoted. Of course he felt it. He’s also feel it if I lightly pushed him with my pinky finger.

    • ITGuyLevi@programming.dev
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      1 day ago

      Technically assult would be very difficult to prove unless he threatened to throw it first, I’m totally not trying to be an ass, but assault requires a moment where the victim can claim a fear or threat of it happening. I am 100% not saying battery wasn’t commited (in the most hilarious way possible), but assault may be pushing it.

      All this being said, I’m not a lawyer and only know the difference because I’ve had to look it up a few times after discussions like this. I’ve also not seen any footage and would love more than anything for there to be a video of some standoff between them first, a dude with a gun/tazer/baton just trying to determine his odds against a bit with a sandwich. Lol

    • flambonkscious@sh.itjust.works
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      1 day ago

      I think we had a similar thing where someone threw/slopped tomato soup on a well-hated TERF(?) Pose Parker here in NZ.

      But we’ve also got the delightful precedent of throwing Silicone dildos at our politicians, too…