Still no. Here’s the reasoning: A well known SSHd is the most secure codebase you’ll find out there. With key-based login only, it’s not possible to brute force entry. Thus, changing port or running fail2ban doesn’t add anything to the security of your system, it just gets rid of bot login log entries and some - very minimal - resource usage.
If there’s a public SSHd exploit out, attackers will portscan and and find your SSHd anyway. If there’s a 0-day out it’s the same.
(your points 4 and 5 are outside the scope of the SSH discussion)
I went from Seafile to Nextcloud with family file sharing as the primary usage. I’m using the AIO docker installation without issues.
This might not help, but I never experienced the issues you had.
(I moved away from Seafile due to - in my opinion - it dying a slow death with less and less support)